I Am What I Chose To Be

I have often found myself wondering as to how my life or the lives of the others around me would have been shaped had I made, or not made certain decisions. Would things all around still be the same? There are not much regrets, but a voice in my head that raises its ugly sound whenever I am confronted with difficult situations. I often trace the cause of the problem to its roots, and the roots are nothing but certain misjudged, misinterpreted, or misled steps, that seemed so right at that time.

Whenever I am involved so much in this argument with the little voice, I compare what I am today, to what I could have been had I chosen X over Y. The answer is also not comforting. Where I yearn for some things to remain constant, even if I’d chosen X over Y, I also want to get rid of certain others. Seems like I am never in a perfect situation, with the perfect people, and the result is that I am leading a totally imperfect life. Sad!!

But then, who has been blessed with a perfect life. I think, and I want to believe - no one. Probably, the happiest people are the ones who make their lives so near to perfect by finding perfection in every imperfection, a smile in every tear, a joy in every despair, a challenge in every solution. For they are the people who actually live life, and set others thinking as to how their lives turn out to be all good from the worse. Life sure offers us many choices, time to time, and if we can’t remain faithful even to the choices that we ourselves make, how can we expect any one, be it people, time or even God to be on our side? Taking responsibility for our decisions and taking the onus for the same is the first step towards happiness, for we will then have no one but us ourselves shaping our lives, with a firm belief that I am what I chose to be.

So from now on, I have decided to include this “faithfulness” towards me first, and then turn to others…..