Perhaps.......

I had called her up the other day.
She probably was busy somewhere else so there was the ‘no answer’ message announced by the IVR.
But I had my doubts: was she intentionally not taking my call??

We’d not been talking much off late, or maybe we weren’t talking at all. We are both married now, she married a year and a half later than me, and once she tied the knot, it seemed all other knots she’d tied years before were breaking loose.

I chose not to agree.

Why, I’d married earlier than her, and we used to catch up often, at places which we always thought of having coffees once we started earning ; discussing fashion, jewelry , matrimony, relationships, and let loose our deepest fears and thoughts. We spoke of our feelings, without any qualms of being judged. We confided in each other without hesitation. We knew each other so well that we’d instantly know what is going on behind the skin deep smile. Smiles. We could conclude a situation just by studying the other’s smile for a few seconds. We knew which lines on the face got prominent enough when inside there were thoughts concerning love, fear anxiety, irritation, boys, study, family issues, or just plain fun. We knew the different shades, the unpredictable moods, the hidden desires, and the much-hyped tensions. We could talk endlessly for hours, we could bitch, we never felt the need to ‘ask’ the stereotype ‘wats up??’ question. We ‘were’ in those times, ‘the Bestest Friends.’


Aaah!! Lovely times.

But, it sure hurts when I type ‘were’ instead of ‘are’.

Perhaps, I couldn’t hold on to this because of new responsibilities.
Perhaps, I’d been replaced by people who were more easily and more readily available than me.
Perhaps, she’d found a better friend than me in her husband.
Perhaps, things and relationships change after new people enter our lives.
Perhaps a few minutes a week seem impossible to be spared.
Perhaps, I shouldn’t have waited so long for her, instead should have taken the initiative to start it all over again.

All Over Again.

Sounds nice.
But, how do we inculcate the same old feelings, the trusts, the times, and even ‘us’?

Perhaps, its time to realize:
All Is Over.

Perhaps……

I miss you Moti, and I am not even sure if you will read this,,,,,but I know if you will, I will have a call landing on my number.