as if...

Well, it’s close to 2 months since I have joined this place. And, trust me; it is somehow, bit by bit, getting better. Or maybe, I have changed my perception. And, probably, lowered my expectations to bottom levels from unknown people. I have had lunches sitting alone in secluded corners, in an otherwise jam packed canteen, I have come to terms with my Boss not really taking interest in my work, or my potential, I have concluded that since I am better than the lot around me, so people do not really want to talk to me. I have taken into account the fact that being an outsider without many local contacts also labels me with the ‘alien species’ tag.

So, I’d decided to continue this for as long as a new job doesn’t fall into my lap. No, not as if it’s raining jobs, all that so during recession, when half of the country’s growth has crashed due to kharif’s failure and another half is dependent on rabi. Or maybe, it’s vice versa. I mean, I have got contacts, within the industry, and I happen to know big people who would (at least I perceive) be more than willing to hire me since they have been associated with me professionally in the past, and probably can help me realize my potential to the fullest. (Am I talking too much about potential??!!)

In the mean time, I happened to speak to a colleague of mine, about a little something, and he (out of the blue) turned out to be this polite, nice, and friendly sort of a guy, mind you, these three qualities were like non existent in the world of this new company. Initially, when he greeted me, or generally got into a conversation with me, I used to be somewhat cynical, as whether he has some selfish interests with something concerning me? He’d been kind to ask me for lunch with his pals a few times, sometimes he would ask me if I’d wanted to grab a coffee between schedules, and meanwhile, I’d concluded that he is a genuine person, someone who I could talk to, bitch about colleagues and our bosses, (believe me, he started it all), and laugh away the daily work tensions.

Another good thing: one of my ex colleague and a great friend also joined in another department!!

So now I had company for lunch, there were a few people who smiled at me, another few who liked my work and yet a big lot who took me as superfluous, undesirable competition. A few eyebrows go up when I go past them, a few whispers fade away when I smile at the whisperers, a few rumors are dying away, and others are taking shape.

My bosses sometimes are happy with my work, sometimes discard the most innovative ideas, they like to be nodded every time they open their mouth, and take pleasure in telling me that I am somehow lacking the ‘spark’. If only they knew that the day I shall open my mouth, they’ll be surrounded by fires.

I know, I know, it’s the corporate world after all!! And I have understood a little. I am in a big city, surrounded by big people, with big apprehensions, big egos, and even bigger insecurities. Each and every new thing in the vicinity is taken as a threat to their existence. Their comfort zones get disturbed, and they like to stick to their regular people. They view outsiders as ‘aliens’ and they make every possible attempt to frustrate ‘aliens’ so much so that the ‘alien’ himself feels so much ‘aliened’ that he ends up leaving the job.

I remember one of my ex-bosses telling me once: ‘Be a shark, this is a world of sharks; big sharks are always eating the small ones….’ And as if being a shark was not enough, he added: ‘…with sharp teeth…’

So life, since a last few days, seems to be somewhat back on track.