Battling The Workplace Bachelors

Yes. Does the title of this post look ridiculous? Or you are under the impression that this is all about sexual advances that bachelors make at work? Well, no , it isn’t. Because, workplace bachelors may not sexually hit on fellow married women or mothers like you and me, but they do 'hit' us where it bothers more – our time.
If the question is how, then let me paint a very realistic picture for you. I pack my bag at 5:30, and I like to move out of office just as the clock strikes 6. Yes, I do get the regular "6 baj gaye kya", stares and comments from other male colleagues, but these bachelors, they are something else. Unlike most married men, they do not have someone waiting, and are available all through the evening. They might be one big reason why your husband returns late from work. They talk nicely, are mostly well behaved, but they have all the time that we women definitely do not have and our husbands are "supposed" to have. The late evening meetings, discussions and office gossips – you call it and they do it. And poor your husband, even if he wanted to come to home, he cannot. Come on, 'protocol' does matter! While men can compete with them, to a large extent, we women simply lose the game. So when my boss gives me those 'comparable' looks – that says that why cannot I come to work on Saturday, why can't I stay up late and complete that presentation, or why cannot I attend that official dinner? The list is endless, and while my bachelor colleague is all up and ready for it, I simply have no choice but to run a sorry look.

Why?
Because we women probably have a warm home to go to. Bachelors generally stay in groups, have hired cooks, and just reach their homes only to crash in their beds. While we women, married or not married, have some calls to be made to the family, might cook, will have some laundry to attend to, and a book waiting to be read by the bedside. These workplace bachelors have no social life – beyond the office- they generally do not have girlfriends, have the least inclination to get married, and act as the 'joker' for the bosses' sake. Be it that empty cylinder, or picking up the daughter from work – they are there. And we, we just cannot be there.

So how do we battle them?
We cannot. No seriously. Be honest, would you like to go and pick up the bosses' daughter from her school because she just puked? Or drop the wife for shopping because she doesn't like to drive and is too fab to hire the auto? Can you take that 11 pm flight to the new place of operation leaving the house as it is - messed and incomplete? Or, worse, when everyone home is enjoying with the family you math up the client statements with the expenditures? Nah.
Drop it here. Do not bother. Remember, those who have no life , they have the office. The desi MNCs are cultivating a league of work population whose productivity might be high, but social life is negative. Maybe, that's where you and I score. Ain't it better to lose this one?

The Sick Indian Man: Is this title FORCED OR INVITED??

Well, this is a funny incident. Just a few days ago, I had posted an update on my facebook wall regarding dowry. It just cropped up from the frustration that a female friend is currently experiencing. While her parents are on a hunt for a groom, she gets disheartened by the fact that so many educated men just keep a "mum face" when their parents dictate the lists of "required gifts" to her family. It ranges from electronics like TV, Home Theatre, Microwave, Washing Machine to expensive cars and hard cash. Some even go upto the extent of asking a flat. Yes, she herself is earning a good salary, and surviving on her own in a big city. She is pretty, and if you really ask me, humble. So every time she meets someone and she tends to like him, all this simply crashes her heart with a tremendous blow.

So, the other day, one of my male friends reacted to the update quite fiercely. He said that girls look for well settled, 5-figure earning boys from respectable family. So what’s the harm? He also said that desire for a comfortable life is not gender specific. So if the girl desires a comfortable life, the boy does too. This dowry , or gifts by girls family help the couple to establish themselves. Later on he told me that since I have all the bad people in my life, hence I view everyone like that. And yes, my choice of friends is pathetic, and I am responsible for it. Come to think of it, he just got arrange-married a few months ago. It looked like it hit him really hard, and I happened to instigate a sore wound.

I do not say every man is a dowry seeker, rapist, molester or abusive. Yes, there are many many of them who refuse dowry, struggle for a base, and yet give a comfortable life to the family. They beam in the pride of self made men, and we all appreciate that. But what about others? Isn’t the Indian man himself ashamed because of the recent events? I remember reading somewhere an article by a man about his soreness on being with females around. Deep within every man knows that no friend, no sister, no wife is safe, and they are being eyed suspiciously. Is it because of the women? No.

It is because of the men themselves. How many of us are not intimidated when we see we have to share a seat with a man for a long night journey. How many of us do not feel scared to be alone with male colleagues? Does the thought of brushing with a men in a jampacked bus not make us drop it and take another one? Do we not fear the demands when we go to our inlaws houses? Are we not worried about the family’s incessant taunts? Ofcourse we women laugh when we see punches on us as being shopaholics, bad drivers, and we all love all those wife/sister/girlfriend jokes everyone shares. Now does that mean every woman goes weak in the knees when she sees “SALE”? Or every sister is stupid? Or every girl friend is bitchy?
Look around, I am sure you will have many, many exceptions.

All in all, I just want to say that we all know all men are not alike, but come to think of it, the “good men” do not carry a special mark or a tag. If this SICK INDIAN MAN title pinches the men, they ought to do something about it themselves. They cannot keep on arguing with hundreds and thousands of women who believe men, known or unknown are a danger. Men need to understand if shopaholic describes a woman, let the words dowry seekers and rapists not describe a man.